It seems like every single summer something terrible befalls me.
Three years ago, debilitating wrist tendonitis.
Last year, osteoarthritis in my knee.
This year, TMJ.
Apparently I am so stressed out (??!!) that I am grinding my teeth at night. Or clenching my jaw, or something. Because I already have … well, I don’t know how to put it. A loose jaw? A clicking in the joint? Regardless, because my jaw is already uneven or imbalanced or something, this tooth grinding from stress is has pinched a nerve or something in my face.
You know how your face feels after you’ve had a filling put in at the dentist? You are kind of sore and achy, and your face feels numb and weird, but you can still feel it? Add a nice dash of “Flames. Flames on the side of my face,” and you’ll have an idea of how I currently feel.
When in doubt, I compare myself to Madeline Kahn. It works out.
That being said, it’s not that bad. I am a huge wuss when it comes to ongoing pain, and I kind of allow it to color everything I do, but really, I’m okay. I am mostly frustrated, stressed out, and annoyed that I hurt kind of regardless of what I do. It really feels like I have a summertime curse!
My doctor gave me a prescription for some muscle relaxants (yay drugs) but I can’t really afford to take them during work, because I will fall asleep!
I am trying to focus on the little positive things I did this weekend to distract myself.
Today I spent way too much time figuring out what I wanted to wear to work and then I missed the bus. Twice.
So I walked to the train.
Walking to the train involves walking on busy streets for approximately five hundred years and crossing a distance that reminds one of the Oregon Trail. (30 minutes, 3 miles)
Here in Oregon, once our “Winter” of about 2 inches of snow and 10 minutes of freezing weather dries up, we start our in-between season of Gray, a seemingly never-ending period of time where it’s not sunny, it’s probably raining, sometimes it’s windy, and the sky is eternally clouded over in a haze between off-white and silver.
The biggest side effect of the Gray is that while most ‘natives’ love it, after awhile it wears on everyone and the universe starts to get grumpy. Seriously grumpy. Some years I can stave off this emotion for a month or two and avoid the inevitable depression that follows this period without sunshine, but this week has been pretty rough.
I have been seriously grumpy. A rough week on top of being unable to pick out a good outfit (I’m still not sold on it), having issues with my hair, and missing the bus twice did not help this state at all.
So I wore my sunglasses in the dark during my entire walk in order to stave off the grumpiness. In my Adidas track jacket and scarf, in windy-hazy-almost-drizzly weather, and with my hair falling out of its bun.
I probably looked like an idiot, but I kind of don’t care.