Finding my zen

I waver between being a high stress and a low stress person. So much so that it irritates the people closest to me.

Every so often my Mom will give me a look and point out the extreme nature of my personality, ie: how if I care about something, I care about it with my whole being, and if I decide to not care about something, I again do so with my whole being.

When it comes to work, I have decided to try to be zen about it. To not care, to just embrace and roll with the punches and the stress and the stupidity. In some ways, this is totally working and in others it isn’t at all.

So I’m not looking for a job right now, since I’m too busy, I’d rather save money for my Hawaii trip, and my summer is too crazy to fit in a brand-new-job on top of everything else. And that is actually a huge relief. I feel like every year I try to shove-cram-fill everything I possibly can into my summer only to realize, at the brink of a panic-inducing season, that there is simply no reason to do so.

And then I let loose and allow myself to enjoy some sunshine.

So I’m being zen, and I’m trying so very hard to not care about the daily stresses and the suffrages and the stress of new coworkers and upcoming craziness and life not going as smoothly as it should.


no worries

I fail at updating. I acknowledge this. Life has been keeping me busy in good ways but keeping me less than stimulated in bad ways.

I’m caught in the looking for full-time employment slog in the middle of trying to balance two jobs I’m not altogether thrilled about leaving behind (hey, guess who hates change?) on top of preparing for the craziest upcoming six months of my life (job changing, loans due, dogsitting, vacation, dogsitting, wedding1, weddings 2-8, bachelorette, best friend’s wedding dogsitting aaah ahh aahhh I AM ON FIRE WHY) so I am a bit at a loss of what to talk about on this blog without just whining

And I already know that I’m pretty darn good at whining.

I’m just not sure how all of this is going to work out.

And I know it will, but I’m a worrier, and I always have been, and I’m feeling at a loss of what my purpose is on top of the fact that every thing I feel designed for is either a) not lucrative, b) nonexistent or c) requires approximately ten more years of college.  And even after those ten years of college how easy is it going to be to get a job as a Professional Freelance Editing Rocket Crafter Knick-knack Collecting Wiz ?

So, yeah. Worries. Constant. But Things are happening. Or as I would say in a text message: THINGS are HAPPENING and that is probably GOOD but I’m still NERVOUS as ALL HELL.

which seems pretty normal.